Because You Have Hideous "Bat Wings"

Sometimes when I'm a little burned out on bloggin' it, I'll pull up CNN.com to see what headlines they're prioritizing on any particular hour. Rather often, their choices are asinine. Today is no exception, as I found this on the front page within five seconds of arriving there:

How to get Michelle Obama's toned arms

Great, thanks. Because you know, she has nothing else in her life to be proud of but her arms? She has no other achievements worth mentioning?

We've already seen such appearance-based "news stories" ad nauseam, whether it be about Hillary Clinton's cleavage, Sarah Palin's dress size, or Michelle Obama's hair. Sometimes these write-ups are disparaging, other times complimentary. To me, it doesn't really matter which angle you take because it's freaking insulting to be talking about it AT ALL.

The CNN article uses the "getting healthy" spin to make this okay.

"The Obama effect has been that women of all ages have been inspired to take responsibility for their health and their body," said Duggan. "As the first lady of the United States, at 44 years old, and with two young children, Mrs. Obama has shown the world that you are never too busy to take care of yourself and look good doing it too," he said.

Okay, fine. I have no problem with women being inspired to become healthier all-around people. But then why couldn't the headline have read, Michelle Obama inspires women to get healthy? Because -- that's not really the point of the article, which is to make it perfectly clear that "bat wings," flabby 'ceps, or whatever you want to call it is NOT OKAY. Michelle Obama is apparently achieving the impossible by having it all... and so should you. Did I mention that this message is being sent without Michelle Obama herself saying one word within the article?

Not only that, according to this fitness "expert," women are just not that into being strong:

"Women are just really terrified of weights," Matthews said. "They're on cardio machines, elliptical for 60 minutes and wondering why they don't see definition and tone. The missing link is strength training."

After all this advocacy of strength training, however, there's this:

It's unclear what kind of exercises Obama does to maintain her buff arms, but it appears to be both back and arm workouts, said Michele Vourliotis, author of "Amazing Arms."

Yet, there's still hope for all of us:

It sounds complex, but Duggan is optimistic that women of any age, no matter how saggy her arms are, can improve. "You can have toned and sexy arms at any age regardless of your current fitness level or how bad your arms are sagging right now," he said.

Just, barf. Thanks a million, CNN.